Holidays in Malaysia

The holidays this year were complicated. Christmas was hard in the way that being far from home is hard, when traditions feel different and your heart keeps drifting back to what you’re missing. But it was also so sweet. We found little ways to create family here: a cozy Christmas morning with Secret Santa, followed by a White Elephant exchange that quickly turned chaotic, karaoke that was way too enthusiastic, and ending the day at a Christmas party surrounded by people who are becoming home to me. It wasn’t what I’m used to, but it was full in its own way.

One of the most memorable (and exhausting) parts of the season was our week of caroling. And when I say caroling, I mean literally eight hours a night, every night, until about 2am. By the end of the week, my voice was gone, my sleep schedule was nonexistent, and I can confidently say I never want to hear Feliz Navidad ever again. Still, there was something really special about it; singing joy into the streets, laughing through the tiredness, and learning what it looks like to give even when you’re running on empty.

New Year’s was loud and late and full of life. We did a big countdown and stayed out until about 4am, welcoming the new year surrounded by new friends. There was something special about stepping into a new year surrounded by people who are walking the same path, all of us not entirely sure of what’s coming but trusting God together.

Through all of this, God has been gently but persistently teaching me what it looks like to focus on blessings. I have a tendency to fixate on what I’m losing; comfort, familiarity, ease or what I feel like I’m lacking. But the truth is, when I have Christ, I lack nothing. And when I choose to stare at the negative, I miss so much of what God is doing right in front of me. Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard things, but it does change the way I carry them.

We also went through a strange stretch where we didn’t have ministry. It was difficult in a way I didn’t expect, it felt like being home, but without any of the comforts of home. No clear purpose, no structure, just a lot of waiting. And yet, even there, God was teaching me. He’s been showing me how to be where my feet are, how ministry doesn’t only happen in scheduled programs or planned moments, but in everyday conversations, shared meals, small acts of presence, and simply loving the people in front of me well.

This season hasn’t been easy, but it’s been really sweet. I’m learning that sometimes the biggest work God does isn’t through what we do, but through what He teaches us to see.