This season has not been easy, but it has been deeply transformative.

There were earlier parts of this journey where I felt mentally and spiritually drained. I struggled to stay consistent in my faith, and at times, I felt overwhelmed by everything I was experiencing. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t fully understand just how much I needed the Lord, not just in theory, but in a real, sustaining way.

Being here has changed that.

In the harder moments, I’ve had no choice but to rely on Him more deeply. And through that, I’ve begun to understand what it truly means that He is the bread of life, not just something we say, but something we depend on completely. I’ve seen how He connects what I’ve learned in previous places and uses it to strengthen me in the present.

There’s a deeper sense of trust forming, one that isn’t based on circumstances being easy, but on knowing that I am sustained even when they aren’t.

At the same time, this season is coming to an end, and that realization has brought a mix of emotions I wasn’t fully prepared for.

On one hand, we are all very ready to return home. There’s a growing excitement about being back in the United States, and in true fashion, many of us are planning to wear the most over-the-top, patriotic outfits we can find for the flight home. We are fully prepared to be those people, the ones who clap when the plane lands.

But on the other hand, leaving is going to be incredibly difficult.

I’ve found myself becoming more sentimental as the days go on, noticing the small moments that I know I’ll miss. The late-night conversations, the inside jokes, the way we’ve learned to live life so closely together, it’s all become so meaningful.

I’m not ready for the “lasts.”

The last hugs, the last conversations, the last moments of laughter that feel like they could go on forever. There’s something uniquely hard about knowing that a chapter is ending, even when you’re excited for what’s next.

It’s a strange tension, being ready to go home while also wishing you could hold onto this season just a little longer.

I don’t think there’s a way to fully prepare for that feeling. Nonetheless, I will spend every second of the last 28 days trying.

It’s bittersweet in the truest sense of the word.